Tuesday

Bootcamp! Yes!
7:45am - Mountain bread - 70
             2 scrambled eggs - 220
            1 shortcut bacon rasher - 40
            onion & green capsicum - 20
     Breakfast Burrito: 350
...

Get Ready for Summer Challenge

Kinda funny, but not the first time I've taken part in a "Summer challenge" here in our Australian Winter :)
That's cool.
It's about the support and challenge, not the season.

Week 1 task - set goals!
This will be good.

1. Weight loss - 10 weeks, 10 kg! (That's 20lbs)
2. NSV (Non-Scale Victory) - Get into my size 10 dress!
3. Exercise - Bootcamp 6 days a week!
4. Nutrition - No alcohol except Saturday, limit 3. Otherwise, track & post calories - goal 1300/day

That's it!
Just Faithfully Do It!

Mondays rock!

Okay, so this weekend I didn't track what I ate, and it probably wasn't all that great anyway.
Very busy, and eating out...but I didn't lose all control.
Sometimes we just do the best we can with the given circumstance.
And then, start again.
I love a fresh start!
Mondays in particular :)
This week is exciting because I plan to do Bootcamp each and EVERY morning!
Then Friday arvo we go camping for a week!
Not just my own family, but several friends' families are joining us too!
Good times.

So, before I go on our camping holiday,
I will track eating/calories this week.
Just to keep accountable.

Bootcamp 6-7am
7:45am - 1 slice bread - 70
               cheese - 40
               tomato & avacado - 50
10am - 2 stuffed tomatoes, leftover - 240
10:30 - carrots, celery & hommus - 100
Total so far - 500
1pm - 2 slices pizza - 340
          cheesy garlic bread - 200
3pm - chips - 200
6:30 - bowl of home-made chicken crock-pot soup 200
7pm - tea 30
Total: 1470 calories

I am making a big change!
I realised today that a big problem of mine is portion control at dinner time.
There is always a reason why "I deserve a little more."
But it's really healthy food...
But I exercised today...
But it's only like 50 calories more...
But I'll do an extra work-out tomorrow.... (yeah sure)
But I'll only eat one serving tomorrow.... (yeah right!)
So as of today, I will not allow myself to eat seconds.
No matter how "starving" I am,
I will only eat one salad plate or bowl of food.
No more.
Period.
Sound like a good plan?

The New Me

5:40 - hit snooze
5:50 - CRAP! Rush to get ready.
6:00am - Bootcamp!
kicked my butt - I'm talking Jelly Arms!

But feeling awesome too :)

8am - banana 100 cal
9:30am - Citizenship Ceremony!

I'm officially an AUSSIE! 

YAY!

12:30 - leftover rice noodle stir-fry 240

            tea - 30

1:30pm - still hungry

             leftover potato casserole - 220 cal

Cal so far -  590

Great day!
3:30pm - 1 cheesy biscuit - 100
6:30pm - Few bites of nachos - 150 (overestimate I hope - tasted like 80)
              Garden salad - 200
               3 beers & glass of champagne (to celebrate citizenship) -  550
Total: 1590 - would have been 1040 without the drink :( So close, but so far away

Boot camp!

Okay. I've really done it now!
I've just joined my old Boot camp!
Brad is a great friend - but a terror PT!
Exactly what I need :)

Starting tomorrow, 6-7am M-Sat!
YIKES!

When I stopped going to his BC about 16 months ago, I was 68 kg.
I'm sitting at 75kg.
Goal: 59kg.

But back then, I was only going 3 days/week.
6 days a week, I'll get there in no time!

https://www.facebook.com/fitroombootcamps
http://www.21daybellychallenge.com

Wednesday

9am - H C T toasted swch - 350 YIKES!
          Chai Latte - 260 WHAT?!!
11am - Smoothie 1/3c skim milk - 35
           1/2c berries - 45
          1/2 grapefruit - 25
           1 persimmon - 100 WHAT???
           1/3c yogurt - 40
Total so far: 855 (only 445 left, and it's 1pm and I'm hungry :(
1:30pm - bowl of chili leftovers - 450
8:45pm - dinner with my sister
             steamed rice - 100
            honey chicken (chinese) - 300
           3 beers - 450
         Daily total:  2155

Not good - day three, and already going back to bad habits.
That's why I've called Brad, my personal trainer.
Starting bootcamp tomorrow

Car in the shop

Okay... strange day.
Usually ride bike to uni.
Today, my windscreen wipers are broken, so I had to take the car in...
then rush to Uni.
Took a taxi.
Then had to taxi back to pick up the kids
and ride the bus home.
Rushed to make dinner - chili YUM!
Shower...
And now on my way out the door for an evening class.
Phew! Tuesdays' are crazy!

Breakfast - oops. Gave in to cravings. Leftover kids meal - naughty.
    7am - Pancake and jam - 150
Lunch - 12pm - (pre-packed! Go me!)
                 homemade veg & cheese sandwich - 300
                orange drink - 140! WHAT?! Yikes!
                fresh pineapple - 30
               3 apple/cinnamon rice cakes - 115
 Total so far - 735
Dinner 4:30pm
             Bowl of chili (I'll say it again - YUM!) - 450
Daily total - 1185!

YAY! That's 2 days.

Fear of failure? Really?

I've realised today that I have had a fear of failure!
Although I think it is a bit different... not exactly a fear, per se...
it's more like a sure knowledge of failure.
I have talked myself into believing I will fail!
I mean - 10 years of weight-loss failure? Yeah.
There's nothing more I can do!
I'm doomed to fail.
(proven by the last vlog I made!)
But guess what - it's BS! That cannot be true.
So, as of today, I will Just Faithfully Do It.
I'll give it my all.
And see what happens.
No talking myself out of it this time.
I will do this to the end -
meaning till the end of this year, and beyond.
Because between yesterday and today, I've changed my mind.
(YES! I CAN change my mind!)
Now I believe that  
I have just been lacking long-term consistency.
Until now, I can get to the point of 2-3 or sometimes 4 weeks of good effort,
with no results.
At which point I find myself deciding that it's all pointless
And I give up, or talk myself into frustration/depression.
Then it's so much harder to carry on.

But today, I carry on. Baby steps to begin.


Day 1 of my Accountability journaling.

Goal this week: 6 days of no binge eating, sticking below 1300 calories daily, and regular exercise.
What I mean by not binging - the toast with jam I had an hour ago (see below) was not a smart decision, I know - but it wasn't a binge. It was under control. If it was a binge, it would have been 2-3 slices, not 1. I just needed something to make this yucky sardine tummy go away! DON'T try sardines, btw.... ewwww!
Then on Sunday I will reward myself for not binging, with a moderate treat meal, that is after doing a SSS - perhaps we'll go out.
Then back to another 6 days of clean eating/exercise.

After the first two weeks, my goal will be increased to include no red food items at all.
I know that I need to be consistent in creating good habits, and sticking to them no matter what!

Monday Food journal: (baddies in red) (feelings in green)
12pm - Busy all morning, but not hungry until about 11am
      Mountain Bread Wrap - 70
      Sardines (YUCK! Never again) - 130
      2 HB eggs- 160
      1 tsp olives & salad - 20
      410 Calories
3pm - upset tummy from sardines - YUCK!
      toast & Jam - 130
      sip of cola (I know, I know) - 40 cal?
      170 Calories
6:15pm - later than wanted, but today has ended up late all around
     Mish's baked fish & chips - 300
     broccoli - 40
     tea - 30
     Mango yogurt - 200
     570 calories
Daily Total: 1150 Satisfied :)

Exercise: 20min dvd - less than planned. 

I hit the snooze button and had lovee time with dh instead of the planned walk - totally legit excuse if you ask me :) 

Accountability

I've been doing some soul searching.
I need to stop "trying" to lose weight half-heartedly.

I need to commit.

I'm talking about getting fit.

This time, I'm not going full-steam ahead.
I'm changing my habits and routine slowly.
No more talk of half-marathons, until I get the basics down!
And to get me there, I think I need accountability.

I can see how some of my crappy habits are getting easier to hide, or ignore, or justify.

No more.

I want to post daily a food journal, and exercise journal.

PLEEEEEESE beat me up if I'm lacking - or encourage me to do better.

Tomorrow - Day 1.

PLAN

Meals: All about Protein
 Calorie cap - 1300 
 1-2 Protein Snacks - No fruit/carbs
 Break/fast about 10-11
 Lunch - pre-planned, packed, and protein filled.
 Dinner - Last meal before 6pm. Portion control.
 Dessert - fruit & cuppa tea

Exercise:
 M -30 min morning walk & any dvd
 T - Riding bike all day to/from Uni
 W - 30 min morning walk & yoga dvd
 Th - 30 min morning walk & gardening
 F - 30 min morning walk & ride bike to/from Uni
 S - Rest day
 Sun - K. Point Cliffs Circuit min 6 rounds

Also, each and every day,
6 min sweat session:
1. Squat Jumps
2. Burpees
3. Free squats
4. Push ups
5. Knee high jog
6. Sit-ups 
It's a 30-day exercise that starts on 20 March (Tuesday).
You do 50 sec of each one, and take a 10-sec rest while you write down how many you've done. 
After the 30 days, you should increase of course.


So this will be it. No more half-marathon goals. 
I WILL run a half marathon - but training will just have to wait.

Frustration

Here is a copy of a post I wrote in a group forum on the 12WBT site.

I'm 75.4kg (165lbs) as of yesterday.
I wanting to lose about 16kg more (goal 130lbs).
Some week's I train daily, full-on training (I AM fit under this fat, I've done heaps of 10km fun-runs, I can run for 60+min full on!) but when I do full-on exercise sessions, I can't do well with my eating because I'm starving.

That's when I pull back (like this week) and start focusing on getting it right with my eating and portion control, because I know that calorie control is more effective for weight-loss, and that is when I start to lose weight! But the problem then is I feel terrible in my body cuz I'm not exercising with intensity, which I love - my body loves it. It makes me feel strong and confident. But then I get into a cycle of over-eating....

It may sound like it's a mind-set thing, but I really do have STRONG appetite that is hard to ignore when I exercise. I didn't overeat yesterday after my 60min hardcore workout, but I was starving all day (even though I ate 1230 calories), and went to bed with my tummy growling with hunger pangs - like it hurt so much I thought about getting a slice of bread just to fill my empty stomach to stop the pain (but I didn't).

The three days before with no work-outs, I ate 1130, 1160, and 1150 calories and felt fine.

I plan out dinners, but I don't plan the other meals, cuz I never know when I'll have leftover dinners, which is what I eat for lunch if it's there. If not, I eat a wrap, chose something from Mish's menu (12wbt). I've been eating ONLY her recipes, just too much sometimes.

Here is where I'm at:



Wish I was doing better, but just being honest.

I'm officially a Uni student!

1 March - really?
Where has time gone?

I've been SUPER busy
A) trying to catch up on life after Melbourne.
and B) Starting University!

I'm studying Mass Communications with both Journalism and PR focus.
Goal: Publishing.
I want to write! Surprise, surprise. Not.
It would be nice to actually get TIME to write!
Can't believe it's been a month since my last post. Sorry.

Uni News: I'm taking 3 classes at QUT (Queensland University of Technology).
Marketing, Professional Communications, and Newswriting.
I won't have much time for this blog, but I'll update "regularly"(whatever that means)
Plus, I've joined a QUT Sailing Club (most exciting!), 2 Christian clubs, and I plan to work hard to get distinctions, if not high distinctions.
I'll be praying hard this year!
Especially praying to make sure I give attention & love to the kids,
and not neglect my house-work.
I'm worried about getting off-balance. But then again, I'm not worried. God is faithful :)
Oh, and did I mention, parking on campus is terrible, so I have to ride my bike!
I have one class at Gardens Point in Brisbane,
and two classes in Kelvin Grove campus, so it's HILLS! Major hills.
My butt better get shrinking, cuz it's got it's work cut out for it!
I rode about 60km (hills!) between Mon & Tues, with 3 brand new big textbooks in my backpack! (I won't mention how much the small fortune was that I paid for these!)
Go me!

Weight-loss news: Well, my exercise habits are now daily.
I feel awesome.
But have I lost any weight? Nope.
I had blood work done to see if my body is dysfunctional.... secretly hoping it is.
It'd be good to have a true reason why my metabolism doesn't work as opposed to "You're just not trying hard enough", because you know what?
I AM TRYING!

• I've given up alcohol,
• I eat small meals,
• I fast breakfast,
• I only drink water,
• I cut out cheese and sweets,
• and I am LOADED on veg and healthy protein,
• AND I'm capped at 1200 calories....

Whatever.I'm not giving up because I do feel good :)

My Husband: Doing great!
Even after his father's death, he seems to be stronger, happier, and def more affectionate towards me!
Great! Loving it!
His birthday is tomorrow, 38.
I'm getting a nice photo of his father done up for him.
( I wish he was easier to buy for...)
Oh, I'll make him his favourite lemon meringue pie as well :)

So that's it. That's why I've been absent.
Thank you Annie for checking in on me, because if you hadn't encouraged me to post, I would have keep putting this on the bottom of the list, I'm that busy.
But now that it's written, I feel so much better.
I love to write! It's so therapeutic.

Hoping you're all having a great day.
God bless!