Woah, did I really just lose 1kg overnight?

Only one day on Mish's meal-plans and that what happens.

I have to say,
I have tried everything over the last 10 years.
So, in February, when I saw the details of the 12wbt plan,
my brain interpreted "1200 calories" to "Calorie Counting".
I had already, subconsciously, convinced myself it wouldn't work...
I've already tried calorie counting.
At least 5 times in the last two years alone!

It never has, and never will work for me.
(We'll get to the reason why in a second).


So then I looked at the 12wbt exercise.
1 hour (burn 500 calories), 6days/week.
I thought, "wait, that is new."
So I focused on that.
I quickly saw, it made me hungry.
Ravenous, out-of-control hungry.
So then 1200 calories was impossible.
Here's the reason why:
I now know that I'm not good at food choices, obviously.

1200 of "my" calorie choices leave me hungry!

But after 10 years on the yo-yo diet,
I was tired of it.
And in the last 2 years, I've found myself saying "just this once" multiple times a day.

So about 2-3 weeks into the 12wbt,
I gave up.
Not on weight loss, just 12wbt.
I wasn't sure where to go, what to do.
I fell into multiple rounds of self-pity,
frustration,
confusion,
guilt.
I wanted to try another program even
(bootcamp, 6 days/week - something new).

3 days in, I knew that wouldn't work either.

I thought, "HEY! Wake up!
Weight-loss is 80% diet.
Just try the 12wbt food program!"

So after almost 10 weeks,
I finally gave myself permission to try again. (see this post)

On Sunday, I posted my reserves and concerns on the forums.
I received heaps of support!
There are other mums out there losing weight.
Lot's of weight!
I can too.
Concerns relived.
Now there's nothing to stop me!

Today is a new day.
Full of confidence, commitment, and expectation.

When I said yesterday, I had a lightbulb moment,
I meant it!
With a bit of soul searching with an open heart,
and a LOT of prayer,
God has set me on a path to success.
Thank you Heavenly Father :)

Day 1, 100%

Today, I am seriously, a brand new girl!
I'm loving it!
As long as I stick to the plan,
which I am committed to!
Everything should go perfect.

B - Oatmeal planned, but didn't have enough time in the end.
      Had 2 slices of toast & an apple instead, same exact calories :)
S - Bruchetta, as planned. YUM!
L - Turkey sandwhich (roast beef planned, but the deli didn't have any).
S - Cuppa coffee from my brand new pod coffee machine! YAY!
D - Poached chicken, mixed bean & ginger salad from CTCB (Crunchtime Cookbook, Michelle Bridges)
D - cuppa tea

I haven't counted the calories in total, but it is exactly as planned, so it should fall about 1200 :)
Plus - NOT HUNGRY AT ALL!!!!
YAY!

I also want to blog about my plan going forward.
Right now, I'm learning how to plan/prepare/eat the 12wbt meals and snacks.
I think it will take about 3 weeks at 100% before I'll be confident enough to go further.
Baby steps.
I will throw in some proper exercise soon,
but I really don't want to jump in the deep end,
as I've done countless times before,
and burn-out.

Nope. Not this time.

This is for LIFE!
So, right now, it's day by day.
Nutrition comes first.
3 meals, 2 snacks.
No more IF.
I will definitely throw in some fasting days/meals later...
but let's not get ahead of ourselves...

Today = great :)
Success!

Journal Entry

Ya know, I think I learn the most when I put pen to paper.

I had my light bulb moment this morning.

When prayer seems unanswered, and there's nowhere else to turn,
Start asking questions.

Here's a copy of what I wrote in my journal a few moments ago:

"Struggling, with a capital S.
I want God's best for me.
I also want to lose weight.
At most times these two seem like contradictions.
God wants me to love others.
Weight-loss is selfish, self-love.

But if I cannot, or am not happy with myself,
I am useless to others...
A miserable, self-centered, regretful, doubtful, negative pile of pity.

Today I will do something about it.
I will get myself in order.
In control of myself.
So that I CAN give God's best to people around me.
Because, honestly, as I am now, that is a bit hypocritical of me.

How could someone a mess, unhappy with their own state,
help others be better? Not possible.
LIGHTBULB :)   ("Despicable Me" quote)
JUST FAITHFULLY DO IT!